Recently I’ve learned that I know nothing about the meaning of the word “respect”. I was born with a little “I can do it by myself” complex, I demanded to do things that were impossible (like driving at the age of 4) and wouldn’t let it go until I had failed to many times to count. At that point I deemed it unworthy of my time and moved on to other things. I did not grow out of this little complex and still try doing things my way for as long as my patience allows me. In shorter term I consider myself to be a very strong willed woman. This is a good thing when it comes to education and work, but when it comes to relationships it’s a flaw.
I had a conversation with one of my guy friends about it, why is it such a bad thing? The good thing about having guy friends is that they don’t sugar coat the truth like your girl friends do. The explanation he gave was simple, “You are too much like a guy”. Well that makes no sense, I look nothing like a guy and some guys, believe it or not, are attracted to me. When did being independent turn into being too much like a guy?
It’s simple, I am not supposed to act the same way around my potential mate and as my co-workers. When it comes to your career you must be opinionated, you must be heard and stand out and most of all you must make a difference. It’s true that guys are attracted to that, but that doesn’t mean that they want you to stay that way when you start dating. “You lack respect” was what he said, the example he gave was when I commented on a political topic on my “dates” Facebook page. I didn’t agree with his opinion and voiced my own. “You should have respected his opinion” but I did and I do respect his opinion but does that mean that I am not allowed to have my own opinion? Does respecting another person really mean that you either agree with them or keep quite? Sure maybe I could have not commented on his Facebook page but what if we were in public together and he was voicing his opinion, am I not allowed to comment then either?
“Disagreeing with him in public is disrespectful to him”
“Telling him he’s doing something wrong is disrespectful”
“It all depends on how you say things, you sometimes talk like you want to argue”
I don’t Want to argue, I don’t Want to be disrespectful but I do want to debate on things and voice my opinion. My “I can do it by myself” complex is not going to disappear just because you think my opinion is disrespectful to your opinion. I know that guys want to be the man of the house, the one that makes the decisions, the one that can help you see the error of your ways.
I’m sorry but two heads are better than one, why not combine our strength instead of insisting that one of us always has to give in to the other. Why does it have to be either or? Why can’t He respect my opinion enough to allow it to be heard amongst his friends even though he doesn’t agree with it?
“You’re never going to find a guy like that”
Well it’s not in my nature to give up or give in. If you can’t handle that then I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do right now. But maybe I’ll grow out of it.